This summer I went to my first NABS Tuesday Club Talk, where veteran hostage negotiator Richard Muellender gave us ad industry people a lesson in persuasion.
My favourite bit? His take on delivering bad news.
“Afraid we can’t give you that million dollars, old chap. Let’s put the gun down, shall we?”
Banter aside, here’s the rub. If you need to tell people something they won’t like, it’s human nature to try to soften the blow. To beat around the bush. This is not a good idea.
Richard invited me to demonstrate by showing how I’d tell a colleague she had body odour. With the help of a fellow audience member (thanks for that).
I played along, trying to be nice and vague. I squirmed and equivocated like a politician. Of course, she was outraged.
Who wouldn’t be? Though we were roleplaying, the point was clear: be direct.
When I train marketing professionals on this, I use the example of a terminally ill patient asking her doctor how long she has left. It’s dark, but effective.
Doctor A tries to be nice and positive. “Ah, um, well, ah, some people can go on for years… the thing is to try to avoid, um… ”
Doctor B is more succinct. “People at this stage of your condition live an average of six months.”
Who’s more credible? Who do you trust?
It’s an extreme example but usefully, the principle doesn’t just apply to colleagues or patients. Customers are a prime example, whether it’s a bank emailing about a mistake, an airline reporting a delay or even a supermarket announcing that, regrettably, those burgers were not quite 100% beef.
In a nutshell:
1 Tell them the facts: think specific, succinct.
2 If it’s your fault, take responsibility.
3 Explain what happens next.
4 Anticipate key questions and answer them, clearly.
5 Say where to go for more help or advice.
Stay concise, action-focused and spin-free throughout.
Got a bitter pill? Think twice before you sugar-coat it.
